so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
