one two three fourrrrnication!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
