i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
