M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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