can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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