i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
