seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
two words: eviction party
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
