We're facebook friends in real life
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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