I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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