U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
