talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
