Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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