who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
