fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize