Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We got so high we made milksteak
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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