In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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