I have demons in me.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
