I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
