It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize