so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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