At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
