i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The Olympian is in my bed
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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