I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
