i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
