Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
