When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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