dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
