grandma shit on top of the toilet
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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