was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
