Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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