I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
3pm strippers are depressing
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize