Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
