is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
