If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
