You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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