'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize