Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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