and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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