I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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