I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Pooping to opera.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize