the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
be right there i have to get my cape
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
