Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
