just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
