Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
