It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
