just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
