someone threw a dead crab at me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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