Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize