Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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