We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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