i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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