We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
