The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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