a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
