I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
