He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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