I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
