dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sober January is a disaster.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
