5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize