the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
