Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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