why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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