I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
