I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
