it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
