Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
